Danna, I hear you needed some new underwear. I'm bringing you a pair of very special Shinsengumi issued boxer shorts. They're actually very high quality. Don't mind the slightly burnt edges. That's just proof how well the material resists fire. I had to disinfect them to get rid of the stench of mayonnaise. If you'd like, I can throw in a pair of Alien vs. Yakuza briefs as well though I'm not sure how they'll hold up to the disinfection process.

[Is still handling the underpants with a pair of very long tongs stolen from a certain hot dog vendor]

...For some reason, that reminds me. Hijikata-san, you really need to take better care of your things. That sort of sloppy personal hygiene sets a bad example for the Shinsengumi. You should throw yourself off a bridge.

Che, don't know what that old man was freaking out about. It's not like I didn't pay him for the damn hot dogs. Even the ones China wolfed down for that matter. And now he's got a great tourist attraction.

After all, it's not every hot dog vendor than can brag about having a giant crater next to their stand, let alone one on each side.

China, what the hell are you doing here? Danna's closet not good enough for you anymore? Did that black hole you call a stomach finally go too far and eat him along with the contents of his fridge? Or did that Four-Eyes finally hit puberty and try and take pictures of you in the shower?

Then again, he'd be better off sticking to posters of that idol he likes. Even photographs of her taped to a wall have more curves than you do.

Shit. I'm missing my soaps. Where the hell can I find a television around here?

[Loud and clear, completely deadpan voice]

Oye, Hijikata-san?

You're in my compartment.

Get out.

[clicks off abruptly]